Losing a Heart
by Alice Dark
Summary: Summery Inside. Warning: HOrrible spelling and grammer. Dont like dont read. Quick Summery: Zai lives inbeetween the war. Which side will she choose and which will being her closer to her goal. Comment PLease. Lots of pairings, mostly OC/Allen OC/Tyki
1. I am a Doll

Losing a Heart

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Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my OC.

Warning: M for lots of reasons. M ALSO FOR HORRIBLE SPEELING! DONT LIKE DONT READ. MY spell check refuses to work, and im slightly dislexic. Suck it up. And dont say my speeling and grammer are horrible. I know they are. Trust me. I know.

Summery: Someone in beetween the lines, not a Noah, and not human. Zalen Heartless is an stuck beetween the war. With no memories, and everyone wanting to get there hands on her... what is a girl to do? Lots of pairings... And I mean every kind of pairing.

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Chapter 1:

I am a Doll and a Friend...?

Zai's Pov (Zalen's Pov)

* * *

Darkness...

"Run!"

_ It never leaves..._

"She's Lost! Run now!"

_ I am a creature of darkness... but im not. I am destined to live beetween the worlds... never being able to live in eatheir._

"Shit! Restring her!"  
"NO! Run! You cant take her!"

_ I want more then anything to take a drink from the sacred fountian... thats always an inch away from my tireed fingers... always cravin the forbiden fruit, that is always an inch from my tired face..._

"Zalen! Zalen! Its me! Its -"

_ Im stupid to belive that that anyone can understand me. Im stupid stupid stupid. I want to... too.. too much._

"Zalen, calm dow-"

_ One color im all to familier with... is red. Red is always there, hidden under a thin layer of flesh... Humans give up their red to easily..._

"She killed -! We cant stop her! Run, God damn it!"

_ I love red. Red is comfterble, because I have a lot of red... I can give it up... I dont need it. Not really. I dont really need anything. I cant die. I cant love. Im just a... an advanced AKUMA. AKUMA are understanding of me... because they are like me. Not Human. Not Noah. But wanting to be one or the other. Another thing I like... is cold._

"WE have to try that!"

_ Cold never leaves me. Cold is as comferting as red. Red never leaves. Cold never leaves. I like it when things never leave. Im stupid stupid stupid for thinking something never leaves... I belived that with humans too. Humans lie._

"Are you insane! She lost her sences! WE run and pray that she dies when she sees the sun!"

"She's not a vampire you stupid fuck!"

_ Humans lie. A lot. I dont trust them. I dont allow myself to trust them. Every time I do... Nothing but pain fallows me. Pain never leaves. Im not stupid for thinking pain never leaves._

"Im not risking it! She's bringing down the entire order!"

"Try it!"  
"Run!"

"Hey. You know... I cant die right?" Their screams fill my ears in a buitiful mocab chours. I love horrible things.

_ More red. More cold. More pain._

"Shit... Zalen! Stop it! I command you!"  
"...I dont want to.."

More red. More cold More Pain. I have my friends with me. I feel safe. Safe... not really safe... but as close as I get. Im stupid stupid stupid for thinking that Red and Cold never leave. Im not stupid for thinking pain never leaves. Pain...

"Your so buitiful." A female voice sings. Her soft skin touches mine. Her hand entiretwins. "Do you want to come with me." I nod. "Will you be a Noah?"  
"Im not..."

"WE know." A huge hord of people says. "We want you to be."

"Do you want to?"

_ Im stupid stupid stupid for thinking that red and cold will never leave._

"I can... pick?"

_ IM NOT stupid stupid stupid for thinking paim will never leave._

_ "_Ofcourse"  
".." After a minute or two or silance... I nod. "Alright."

_ Pain Never leaves._

"My name is Road! Whats yours?"

_ Never_

"Zalen Heartless. Its nice to meat you."

_ Ever

* * *

_

Alice: God. Im so scared. That was my first time writing something like that. (takes deep breathes)

Please tell me how it turned out. Comment. Review what ever. If its about my speeling... I now. Im trying. But You know. Anyway, thank you for reading Losing a Heart. All Italics are Zai thinking to her self. The first set of "convos" Are other people and when the Tab starts, Zai is invovled. Also... Z's only work if the are upercase... so usualy itll be an s. Okay. Thank you!

_Pain Never Leaves. Never. Ever._


	2. And a Friend?

Losing a Heart~

Chapter 2:

Im a Doll and a Friend...(continued)

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Zai's Pov

* * *

"Isnt she pretty Tyki? I think she's adorable!" Me Road and Tyki were all stnading on front of a huge mirror in Road's room. She felt the need to dress me up. I regreat letting her. Im cant breathe, im turning blue, and I cant feel my feat or hands.

"Road... I think mabey a sise bigger, and lose the corset." He muttered. Road frowned.

"What do you think, Zai-chan?"  
"Im fine with anything."I mutter. My Cobalt hair is done up in curls, and im wearing more make up then I ever have. I dont really like makeup. Makes me feel fake(AN:Me too...) I was wearing a light blue dress that looked like it came off of a doll, knee high stripped socks, a pair of black Mary Janes, a black corset, and black gloves. "I just dont think the black fits here." I say cocking my head to the side. "Why am I dressed up anyway?"

"Did I forget to tell you?" She giggled. Me and Tyki sighed. When ever our little princess giggles, that usualy means someone is getting their head cut off. Good thing our heads dont come off.

* * *

_ Pain never leaves_

_

* * *

_

"So... What are we doing out of the castle? It really isnt my place to be outside. Not after what happand the last time." Road pulls me by my hand.

"Its alright. All that distructive power of yours will be put to a good use. You get to torture excorsits with me!" Road treats me like a younger sister. She cares for me deaply, and I return the favor. But every know and then... something different comes oer me.

"Why?"

"Mellinie told us too.." She said and snapped her fingers. WE walked threw the door.

"But why do we have to torture them?"  
"Because, its fun." She says and we exit the door infront of an old town.

"Oh. No. I cant go in there. People are there. Humans... are there. I cant Road!" I cry and back away from the gate.

"Its alright." She smiles. "Im with you this time. The las ttime you stopped after I talked to you, right? So you can hold my hand."

"..." I grabbed onto her and we walked threw the gate, our sking coming of and returing.

"Zalen, welcome to the rewinding city."

"Road... are you looking for someone?" I ask quitly. Weve been stalking this city for a good day now, and she had a disapointed look on her face.

"Innoncence."

"...The thing in my eye?" I ask stupidly. Tyki explained what I was to me. I was half Noah, half exorsist. I had innocence in left eye, but the powers it had were that of a Noah. No one knew what I am. No one does.

"Kinda..." She muttered. A few Akuma flew by. A human boy ran after him. "That is what Im after." She pointed and we broke into a run. When we caught up the boy was bleeding and about to pass out. "You know what your doing right?"

"...I dont want to leave."  
"..." Her lips moved with out a sound. Her hands clamped over them quickly. "Did you see what I said?"

"..." I didnt talk. Its not like it mattered. I opened the door and it swallowed all off us whole. Me, Road, and the odd boy.

"Why dosnt he wake up?" Road asked annoyed.

"Dose it matter." I ask stupidly. I hate everyone and everything, so why should I care about you...?

"Yes. He is very important."

"Oh." I say. She seemed to care more about this boy then about anyone else.

* * *

* * *

Hug him and kiss him and make love to him already. I screamed mentaly. "He's awake." His eyes flutter open.

"Who are you?"

"...Wrong question." Road giggled and rammed a candle into his eye. He screamed. "The correct question is what... are you."

"..." He didnt talk.

"My name is Road. Im a Noah. Im going to torture you today." She giggled chilidhly. Stupid...

"Who are you?" He asked me.

"DONT IGNORE ME!:" Road screamed.

"Zalen Heartless. Im uh..."

"It dosnt mater!" She shreaked. I walk over to him, touch his left eye. His left eye is wrong too. He blinks. I take of the cover from my own eye.

"Do you see eatheir of us? In that eye of yours?" I ask.

"Only her." I freese. "What are you..?"  
"...No one." I say. "Im a nobody. I dont have a soul. Or a heart." I say and touch his skin. Its so different from Road's. Its soft and pale and white and buitiful.

"Dont touch him. Dont touch Allen, Zai!" She screamed and grabbed my by the hair, pulling me back. "He's Mine. Im going to kill him. Your not aloud to touch him." I gave her a glance.

"How do you know my name?" He only seemed to rest on that note. Not the kill him part. Crasy kid.

"Is that what your sitting on, Allen Walker? Odd Kid. Didnt you notice your arm is tacked to my wall?" She asked.

"Wha... GAH!"

"See. If you dont know your hurt, you dont feel pain. Isnt that great Zai?"  
"Not like I feel pain anyway..." I like lieing. It helps me... cope with that... thing.

"Ofcourse you dont. Dont you think he's cute, Zai? And what about the doll?"

"Doll?" Both me and Allen asked. She pointed behind her. A girl sat lifelessly in a chair. "Lenelee!" He screamed.

"Is that her name? Its such a cute name."

"Al..l..en...?'" Some hag cried.

"Miranda? Who the hell are you?" He adressed Road only.

"...Im a Noah. Didnt I tell you?"

"What the hell is a Noahhhhhh!" He screamed. I saw a wire running down from the wall.

"Road, what the fucking hell did you do to him?" I asked running over to him. "Are you okay? Here." I mutter and remove the wire. A candel percies my hand. "Act your fucking age!" I hiss. "Your arm is odd. Let me realese you..." When my hand touched his activated one, he shook his head.

"That thing is going to hurt you again."

"You really are a stupid kid." I say and pull the first tack out, only a small amount of blood leaks out of it. He only winces a little. I get a sword in the back. Quite litteraly. "Road..." I gasp. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"  
"I. Said. DONT TOUCH HIM!"

"..." I step away from him and pull the sword out of my back. Im bleeding. There goes all my red.

"God... Are you okay?"

"Fine." I look at the sword and fling it at her. She doges.

"Listen, you bitch. How dare you! Im the one who saved you! Me and the Earl-"

"Earl? The Millenium Earl?"

"Yes, Keep up." I say to the kid. "I dont care." I grab his arm and pull it out of the wall, tacks and all. "Screw you and the Earl." And I mean it.

"What are you doi-"  
"GO get your friends." I order. He nods and runs over to Lenelee. "Listen Road... dont make me do something stupid. I really want to."

"Bitch." She saws and a hundred needle like candles stab my back. I roll my eyes.

"Not like I can Die." I say. He pulled Lenelee to the weird lady. I walk over to them. My eye activates, and the women's Innoncence is realsed. We are rewinded. Before eatheir of the exorsists are damaged. "Call a doctor. Highly recommended. The cnadels in my back didnt leave. Since my time works dirrfrently from everyone else. Time is as demented as I am.

* * *

"So... can you give us the hole story, before we tell them to take you in."

"Can you get the cnadels out of my back. Even if I dont feel pain, its not the least bit pleasant to have sharp things screwin iwht your sustem and spinacl cord." I mutter. Allen nods, because the two women cant stomach it. I take the remains of my shirt off. Allen blushed. I roll my eyes.

"The story...?" Lenelee asks impatiantly. I have a feeling I will not like her.

"Shure, sweetheart. Its like this. The Noah work for the earl. They are all the decentens of Noah himself, and yes I mean the one with the flood. They were kind enough to take me in for the time being, because me and the order didnt exactly work out the first time... I have innoncence like you guys, but... its more like a Noah's power. So... im in beetween the lines." I wince as Allen pulls out a candle that scraps my spinal comlume.

"But I saw it. All the candels and the sword..." Allen mutters.

"I dont know. I dont know why I cant die. Dont know, dont care. Its handy." I say. He finishes of the last candel.

"Are you sore?"

"..."

"Here." Lenelee fumes as he massages my shoudlers. I grab his hands.

"What the bloody hell are you doing you pervert?"

"I didnt mean it like that! Honest." I look into his puppy-dog eyes. I let his hands go.

"You better not have." I let him continue. Savroing the kindness in his motions. Not like kindness aplies to a creature like me. "Allen... your really good at it." I mutter.

"Iv had to do it a lot for my previous master."  
"Cross?"

"...Ya.'  
"I now him. He's a horrible guy isnt he. He left so many debts to me. God. Hate that guy." I feel him nod.

"Me to."

"Question!" Lenelee said urgently.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you wearing an eye-patch.'  
"'Oh. Cause my innocence is there. And im blind." I say. "At least you can see threw yours." I adress Allen, and Lenelee fumes again. His hands meet the bends in my back perfectly. I feel the wounds close up.

"Could you always heal this way?" He asked.

"Ya. Ever since I can rembere." Or at least as far bask as I am willing to rembere.

"Thats pretty cool." He says his hands moving quickly. "DO you have anything else to wear?"

"Not at the moment. NO.'  
"Well go buy you something." Miranda says and grabs Lenelee.

"..." WE laugh like old friends. I stop myself. "Allen... how is the order doing."  
"Good. I guess. I havnt been a part of it for too long but Its nice... I guess."

"I see. Uh... Does a guy by the name of Luxiria (aka Lux) Blood work there?"

"Did you know him? He died in a tragic accident 300 years ago.'  
"...how many years?" I grab his hands and turn around and look at him. He blushes.

"300"  
"...RIGHT." I mutter. Like I said time is just as demented as I am.

"Zalen-san... about your sou-"  
"Dont tell anyone. Please." I say and place my head on his chest. He flusters. "And just Zai is fine, Allen. If they find out... thell think im an Akuma, and then..." I...

"I wont. If you dont want too. Your not an Akuma though... right?"  
"No. Hey... lets make a deal."

"If you dont tell anyone who I am, or anything else I might tell you about, Ill tell you everything I now about the earl and the Noah."

"Deal." He says. "But do you really have that many secrets?"  
"Ya. And lots more."

* * *

Done

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Comment. Please. Luv you all.


	3. Acting and Lieing Go Hand in Hand

Losing a Heart

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All warnings are in chapter one. Not going to repeat them

Chapter 3:

Acting and Lieing go Hand in Hand~

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"Are you insane? She's a Noah!"  
"No. Im not." I say.

"She might as well be!"  
"But im not." I say.

"ALLEN GET RID OF HER!"

"...well bye." I say and walk away from the order. I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Or not..." I mutter silently. He pulls me back to the monotor to listen to the weird guy screaming at me.

"Zalen is-"

"Wait... a second. Your... Zalen? Zalen Heartless?" The odd guy asked

"...Ya..." I was afraid of this. Allen looked at me and then back at the odd guy.

"Come in, come in! I was wondering when you would come buy!" I look at Allen and he gives me the same look. Shrug. Walk in. And know Im not even kidding, but literaly every single thing that moved. And I mean EVERY single thing that moved glared at me so badly, I kinda wanted to run. I didnt.

"They usualy dont do this. Honest." Allen said.

"Right. Not like I should get all gungho about you humans being nice to me."  
"...I thought you said your not Noah.'  
"Ya. I did. Im not human eatheir. Im loftily inbeetween. Sucks to be me." I twirled my finger in the air and he chuckled.

"Well, its fine." Allen said and took my hand. I force myself to blush.

"Allen, uh... thanks. For beliving me." And I mean that.

"Ofcourse." He smiled at me with his eyes closed. We reached the door. "Dont faint."  
"...?"

He opens it and a bunch of papers flood into the hallway. That is literaly a sea of paper before us. "Are you Zalen-sama? Come in Come in!" A much nicer looking man then the freak on the moniter gestures. I nod and fallow him in. Allen attempts to leave, but I grab his jacket and pull him in with us. "My name is Reavier(AN: Shoot me, I dont know) And I am one of the SEVERLY OVERWORKDED... assistents to Koumo. That weird guy you saw on the screen."

"Oh. Okay. Its a pleasure. Where is he?"

"Under here somewhere..." Revier(...) said. (Im sticking with what ever seems right for me. Bare with it)

"Zai, can I leave..."

"N-" I look into his eyes. He looks like a lost puppy. "NO. Suck it up."

"..." He sighs and Revier gives us a chair. "This is one."

"I can count, Walker. I dont have another one. Share." He said stupidly and pt on a mask, and dove into the mass stakes... Uh... okay... what ever works, I guess.

"You can have it." I glance at the bended crooked thing. No way its going to hold eatheir of us up. When I look at him, his mouth is agape.

"Are you kidding. That goes against every principle I have." He says, and his hands flayel.

"IM not tacking it." Allen looked at me for a while then sat down. Then he patted his lap.

"Sit."

"God, you are a pervert." I sit down on him. "The chair isnt going to hold, you know."

"Yes it Wi-" It broke halfway threw his we both made contact with the ground we gave each other a look and started laughing so bloody hard, we both started having water pour out of our eyes. Looking at each other and laughing like lunitics was... heartwarming. I guess.

"Allen, you really are a pervert." I giggle again. He fumes chilishly.

An odd guy appered next to him. He jumped into the air. "You must be Zalen-san."

"Zai is fine.'

"Im Komui. Its a pleasure to meat you! Its so good to know your going to join us as an exorsist. You are going to have to sync your innocence in, but your as good as one of ours." He took my hand and kissed. "Your really cute. You look like my sister."

"..Thank... you... I think...' I mutter.

"Why is he waiting for you?" Allen hissed into my ear. I shrug. Lieing and Acting go hand in hand, after all.

"So, Zai, we will have you measured for a uniform, and then, you will be assaigned a room. As for you, Allen, why is your entire sleave red?" He said cerving his neck. Allen moved his arm behind his back. "Do I need to repair you innocence... again?" He said with a gastly smile. Ofcourse, no where near as bad as Road's but... it defeintly came close...

"No. Im fine. Were fine." Allen grabbed my arm, and we rushed out of the office. "You can come to my room, while you wait..."

"Pervert." I mumble.

"Not like that!" I fallowed after him. After a while, when I was good and lost we came apon a door. He opened it, and let me in. I sit on a chair near a desk. He sits on his bed. "Wanna confess anything know?"

"Let me see your arm. I can fix it." He pulled his sleeve up and I undid the bandages on his arm. "Oh. She really got them in there didnt she?" I ask and place my hands over the first whole. A light glow realese. He moans. Pain or pleasure, I dont know.

"Why is she so screwed like that?"

"She dosnt like humans. Never did." I say. I watch the wound close up and move onto the next one. "She's not 12, by the way. She's older then you. Probobly my age.'

"How old are you?"

"Dont you know how rude it is to ask that question?" He nods. "Old enough." I say.

"So how are you doing this?" He asked, his head turned to his wounds.

"My eye is... my innocence is very odd. For you see, I can ... do what Road can, but in the real world, not in my own world. Time is nonexisten for me, and the laws of science are more like guide lines."

"Thats amasing."

"Shure. Its a curse, Allen.'

"...No. Its not." After his sixth and last wound closed he smiled at me and took my hand in his. "Its a great power."

"No. It isnt. How much do you know about human anatomy?"

"Not much." He said, not letting go of my hand.

"Well, there are two things you need to lead a basic none vegtable life. A brain and a Heart."

"So...?"

"My last name is Heartless for a reason, Allen. I really dont have a heart. Here." I undo the top buttons of my shirt, and after Allen turned into a tomato, I pulled his head down and pressed his ear over where my heart should have been.

"..." He didnt say a word. After a minute or two, he pulled back, did the buttons on my shirt for me, and pulled me to him. The first hug I had recived since... the series of events I am know going to refere to as the insident happand. "Im not giving you pity. Im not." he said. "But... were you born that way?" I stiffened. He pulled away and looked at me. "...God... Zai... the Noah.. they..-"

"No. Allen. Not the Noah. The Black Order." And with that I stood up and left the room.

* * *

I am Tired. It is rather... not really late. But Im tired none the less. Review me please! Oh, and if anyone is intrested in being a beta-reader for me(I have no idea how that works though) Please tell me. Review though, seriously. I live for it. Luv you all ~Alice


	4. Unifroms and Strikes

Losing a Heart

Chapter 4:

Uniforms and Strikes~

Zai's Pov

* * *

"Zai, wait!" Allen ran out off his room and chased after me.

"Hmm?"  
"I wont tell anyone.. but what happand?"

"I have no intention of telling you something so ridicuoulesly important to me, until im shure I can trust. Which I dont think I can, or ever will. Stop fallowing me aound."  
"Zai, listen to me, I wont tell anyone! I swear!"

"Right. Okay. Bye know." I say, with out any sucsses, seeing as how the kid is still fallowing me. "Okay, your not leaving. Clearly. But... why do you care? We just met?"  
"..." He didnt say anything. "Because Im like you." H emuttered after a while. I spun around and slapped him so hard, he spun in a small circle.

"Dont ever, comapre youself to me. Dont you dare." I hiss and walk off, this time with out him fallowing me.

"Am I in the right part of the building...?" I ask some weird guy with weird make up.

"Are you the Noah girl?"

"I wish. Im not a Noah.' He nods and gestures me to sit on the cot. "Im stuck in beetween the war. Not good or bad, just..."The man nods. "Im Zai, by the way." I mutter as I sit down on the old cot that creaks audably.

"Bookman." He said.

"Bookman." I say. "What am I saposed to do?"  
"I need to see that eye of yours. Komui ordered." Bookman said. I opened my left eye. He rammed a needle into it.

"Ow..." I think. "Why did you just do that?"

"No reaction... Is this your innocence?"

"...I guess." I say. I dont really think I use my innocence persay. I use the powers the Noah granted me, but you never know.

"Would you like me to remove it?"

"NO." I say and touch my dead eye. "I need it!" I say.

"For what?" A voice that appered out of no where asked, macking me jump. A red head with an eye patch that looked exactly like mine was suddenly standing next to me.

"Its matter of principle. Who ever you are..." I say. The boy, defently older then Allen, shakes my hand.

"Lavi Bookman, and let me just say, if I could arrange the elphabet, Id put u and I togther." He kissed my arm. The old man threatened to kick him, but I put up a hand.

"Really? Id put f and u next to each other." With a smirk I watched Lavi die in a corner quitly.

"Your quite brutel, arnt you?"

"Hey, When you live with creeps who try to drug, rape, or abuse you, you learn rather quickly." I smile. Bookman chuckled.

"Lavi, take Miss..."  
"Heartless."  
"...Take Miss Heartless to get fitted for a uniform." turning back to a chart of acupuncture. Lavi reawoke and hopped towards the door.

"You look like a rabbit." I giggle.

"You like rabbits?" Lavi asked bouncing over to me. I smile.

"I like cats mostly. But Rabbits are a close second, I guess."

"Is your name really Heartless?"

"No. Not really." I shake my head. "But, I dont rembere my real name, and since I literaly dont have a heart..." Lavi winked at me.

"Everyone has a heart." He states. "Anyway.. I never caught your first name."

"Zalen... Zai." I mutter. "Road called me Zai and know, it sticks." We walk threw a huge amount of halls and rooms. "Hey, uh, can we eat first? I havnt eaten in a month or so."  
"No way?" Lavi said with a shocked face.

"Im not human, Bunny-kun."  
"Usagi."

"hmm?"

"Thats what everyone calls me. Usagi."

"Usagi, shure. If you want me to call you that. I dont know where people get these names from." We enter a cafateria when every single, I kid you not, every single pair of eyes is boring a hole into my skull.

"They usualy arnt like this..." Lavi mutters.

"Thats what Allen said too. You lie dont you?" I ask as he takes me to a table and sits me down. "You sit, Ill go get you something to eat. What do you want?"

"...I dont-" eat. Not really. It was never nesecary for me to put food in my stomach.

"Its alright." Lavi muttered and walked off. Two people sit in front of me and before I can say anything, they start their attack.

"Your a Noah. Your just trash. Why are you here?" I want to ki-... kick them in the ass and send them flying, but I cant.

"I dont-"  
"Your just a slut. Bet you fucked the Earl."  
"I bet she did!" The two laughed. Both male, much bulkier them I was. Not good. I had this happan to me before. I ended up in a kinky four way, and couldnt walk for days.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" The two men freeZe. Get up. Leave. I smile greatfuly.

"Thanks." I smile at the man. He was japanse, had hair identical to mine and carried a sword.

"che." He sits down across from me. "I dont like them. I didnt do it for you." I nod.

"Thanks anyway." I say. The man nods. His hands curl around a cup of tea. "Gin-sang?" I ask. "Do they make it, or is your own brew?" He bobs his head to the cook's pit.

"Makes almost anything."

"What part of Japan are you from?"  
"Edo."

"...What part of Edo are you from?" I ask. I forget the way people talk about things some times.

"Kyoto." He said and gulped down his tea. I nod and look around. Lavi was no where ot be found. Everyone was still glaring at me. My hands shake lightly.

"Iv been there once. Its very nice."

"..." He nods.

"..." We sit in silance for a while until Lavi bounces back.

"Yuu!" He ran over, talking to the man infront of me. "Guess you already met Zai-chan, hugh?"

"Do you want to die?" The blade was at Lavi's neck instently.

"Yuu?" I ask. "Whats your last name?"

"Kanda."

"Kanda, can you not kill him? You him and Allen are the only ones who talk to me, so please dont dwindle that number down..." I clasp my hands togther. He tsked me and put the blade down. Lavi nods his thanks and sits down next to me, placing a plate infront of me. It had a big piece of bread, a slade, and ... "What is that?" I ask pointing to the brown thing.

"Its meat."

"Oh." I take the fork pike it up, and devour it in one go. Both boys are staring at me. I finish my plate in a matter of seconds. "I like to eat. There's just no need for me to eat." I say. "That was good." I smile.

...

A little while later...

Every guy in the room had a nose bleed. I shake my head. "Im not wearing this." I look at myself. A skirt so short, there really wasnt even a point of wearing it, the jacket with V-cut so low, my breasts were completely exposed.

"You have to."  
"Im not wearing this. It is not the least bit practical, and I feel like a whore."

"Well, its just, we dont have to many girls at the order, and thats what Lenelee wears."

"..." I give a glare. Stupid hussy. "Im not wearing this." Allen walked passed the door and frose.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He ask and walked into the room.

"Apperently a uniform." I look at is again. Can I use my powers to fix something like this?

"Look, its that or nothing. It might take another week..." Someone said.

"Can you give us a minute?" Allen asked and grabbed me by the arm. We ended up in the hallway. "Use your powers."

"...DO you think that would be a good Idea...? I mean, they arnt exactly 'exorcist' powers."  
"DO you want to walk around like a slut?"  
"Fair." I say and close my right eye, activating my left. Suddenly the worls is in black and white, time slows down, and slowly I see the 'way' as the Earl called it. The fabric on me rustled... I opened my eyes again, and everything disappered.

"Zai? Zai? ZAI?" Allen screamed. Reason? I got very well aquanted with the floor.

...

"_Life is not a game anymore, Zalen. DO you understand that? Life is a War. Im giving you weapons to fight, and you dont want to take them! Is it becau-" I stop him. _

_ "If life is a war... Who are we fighting against?" I ask stupidly. Tyki gapes at me from the opposite of the table. The Earl has instructed him to pound sense into my head. _

_ "The Exorsicts."_

_ "But, techincaly speaking, we dont have to."_

_ "...Alright, fine. Fine. Life is a stage." I giggle at the next analouge he's using. "Whast wrong with this one?" Macking Tyki lose his temper was always fun._

_ "Who are the audience?"  
"...Okay fine. What do you want to call it?"  
"Silly Tyki." I giggle. "Life is Exactly that. A game, played by children. Some kids pretend to be all grown up, smart, and strong, to get in the lead. Some people cheat, because just like every game, there are rules that exists solely to be broken. But life is a game, and it is played by children, because all the adults of the world dont have time for us... Do you understand?"  
"..."He nods and smiles. "You ended up teaching me something." He chuckles and gets up. "Get dressed. Lets go play." He smirks and leaves the room._

_ "...Im tired of playing."- - - - -

* * *

_

_End. Please comment and review! I live for it! Plase please please!_


	5. If Its a Give, Take

Losing a Heart

Chapter 5:

If Life is a Give Take, When do I Get to Take~ Part One

* * *

NO One's

* * *

At the Noah House

* * *

"Tyki, im bored. Play with me."  
"...Road, Im busy." The man groaned. He wasnt... busy, per say, but he still didnt want to play with the merduress little bitch. The 'book' he was reading was plenty engoyable.

"Stop looking at Zai! Im bored!" Tyki sighed. The few picture he had of the girl were growing dusty with age.

"Fine, what do you want to play." Tyki got up, carelessly and banged his head on the shelf that was right above his head. "Fuck!" He cursed loudly, earing a ticked look from the girl. Road's realm was unpredictable, and ever so often, the man had gained numerous cuncosions. "Why the hell is that there anyway?" He howled rubbing his head.

"Thats where I keep Zai's medi...cation... oops..." Road shrunk as Tyki practicly exploded in anger. Not only had he just suffered a fun little injury, he had just rembered to give Zai her meds. After all... is she didnt get them...

"Road, go tell the Earl, im going to busy for a while."

"But, Tyki! Im b...o...-"  
"Road. Now." Hel hath no fury, when a Noah gets ticked.

* * *

Zalen's Pov

* * *

"Zai! Zai!" The voice totalled in. I woke up, my head was killing me.

"Fuck, did I hit something..." I mutter. Everyone in the room lets out a breathe of relief. A small little memory glides into my head. I havnt tacken my medication... Oops.

"What was that?" Lavi, Kanda, and Allen all let out a shriek.

"Hmm? Oh, I uh..."  
"You three are going on a mission. Now." Bookman stuck his head into the room, ointing at me, Allen, and Lavi. Amen.

* * *

"SO... Vampires... hugh?" I mutter sitting on the train. The two boys are glaring at me. "..'  
"Why did you just randomly faint?" Lavi asked, annoyance in his voice.

"Well, uh... I didnt exactly...take my medication..."

"IM sorry... what?" Allen asked.

"I DIDNT TAKE MY MEDS OKAY!" I screamed so loud, the entire train hurd me. "Screw you guys." I get up and walk away fromt eh exorcits. Netheir of them walk after me. I make my way to the bathroom. A man with ugly glasses and shagy hair gets up and fallows me. I enter the room, dont lock it. Wait five minutes. The man enters too. Hugs me. Recieves nad eye-roll.

" What the bloody hell are you doing here?" I ask.

"Giving you your meds." The man said and put a bottle into my palm. I shook it, mabey four or five pills lay at the bottom. "This wont last me for an hour."  
"Its the only ones I could get my hands on. Im sorry, Zai... Ill talk to the Earl about getting you more. Its just, you know how hard these are to come by."

"Well, If I take one know, and take another one when I faint again, I sapose I could make for a week."

"Youv... fainted already?"  
"Ya."

"Zai, IM so sorry. You know I didnt want you to risk you head for this.'  
'I know."  
"And, I love you.'  
"I know."

"And everyone misses you.'

"I know."  
"Im sorry.'

"I know."  
"I want you back."  
"I know."  
"Kiss me."  
"No." I say and open the bottle, tacking all five at a time.

"What the hell are you-?"  
"Be greatful. I just gave you another excuse to visit me." I mutter. His eyes sparkle.

"Thank you." He smiles. I frown. "I have to leave now. Youll be fine wont you."  
"..." Just as he is about to leave the room... "Tyki... I need you to do me a favor."  
"What?"

' "...Get me a book."  
"...?"

* * *

_ "Road... how do you do everything like-"  
"I read it in a book... Have you ever heard of -? Its a wonderful thing, it is. Its so tortures. If you can ever get you hands on, the things it can be used for, are amasing. Especialy when you want to brake someone.

* * *

_

"Where were you?" Lavi asked. His red hair getting in the way.

"Bathroom. I took my medication. I should be fine for a while."  
"What is it for?" Allen asked. I looked at him.

"My condition. It creates a fake heart."  
"...How do you come by something like that?" Allen asked, suddenly a look of guilt over comes his face.

"I dont know. The Earl and Tyki always got them for me. If I dont take them, I might meet a bitter end."

"Might?"

"Well, the longest Iv ever lived with out the pills was five months, but it was a living hell. I lost my mind. Literlay. But the Earl gave them to me, and I was on them ever since."  
"Is this going to be a problem?"  
"No. We have our own way of sending things in beetween each other. But dont worry, its only something I want to except so he wont send any weapons or anything like that over.'  
"But what if he poisens you?" Lavi asked.

"Thats rather stupid of him. After all, I have quite the duty on my head. Im the destroyer of reality." I smile and look out the window.

"No. I am." My frown slips. I turn and look at Allen.

"Dont flater yourself. Your just unlucky." I smile. "You, PERONALY, will not do anything." AS IF THAT HINT WASNT BIG ENOUGH.

"..."

"Nevermind." I smile and lean back. Another memory grabbing me, and pulling me under...

* * *

_ "... I dont understand, im going to be the what...?"  
"The Destoryer of Reality." The Earl said, his never ending smile still residing on his face. I look at him. "I know its a strech, but, the profocy is never wrong."_

_ "..."_

_ "You wont be alone!" Someone chirped. The Earl threw a chair at him. I havnt learned all there names, but this was the weird gentlmen of the group. Tika... Tik... Ti-_

_ "Tyki, shut the hell up!" A girl...Road screamed. Tyki, yes. That was his name._

_ "It true, you wont be alone... But we all agreed we wouldnt talk about the 14th... right?" _

_ "Yes." Everyone said... but Tyki._

_ "Who is the 14th?" I ask. I know im not saposed to, but its so muich fun to egg him on._

_ "The Destroyer of Time." The Earl said. I stop..._

_ "You mean, Neah?" Everyone freeses and looks at me. _

_ "How do you know that name?" The earl is at my trought. Pulling me into the air. My eyes go dark. My dark. My darkness that never leaves, but only sometimes shows for everyone else. My darkness... _

_ "Earl, let her donw." Tyki said, not a hint of fear in his voice._

_ "Neah? Ya. I knew him well. The bastard killed me the first time. Placed me in this stupid body, and tore the girls poor heart out. WE know him very well." She said, my darkness... _

_ "When he was at the-"  
"When else?" She screamed, the Earl was shoved back, even though no one touched him._

_ "Zalen, calm do-"  
"SHUT UP! Thats not my name!"_

_ "What is it?"  
"Shamyer, Shamyer Nonovia! I am the 15th Noah!" She screamed. Everyone frose.I had a... Noah inside me..._

_ "...Alright. Shamyer. What are you?"  
"...Im not telling you. I cant trust you yet. I trusted Neah... He killed her, and binded me. I cant trust you eatheir. Not yet..." She started caughing up blood. "Im leaving." She said, and I turned back to normal._

_ "..." No one said anything. Tyki walked over to me, and took my hand, pulling me out of the room. He didnt say a word eatheir... but his silance was different from everyone else.

* * *

_

"Miss? Miss?" Someone shook me. I woke up. I looked around and the train was empty. "The two men you were with, they got off three stations before."  
"...Crap." I got up and walked to the platfrom.

"Miss, Wait, how are you going to ge-" I bloke him out, close my right eye, and let the world of black and white fall over me. I see theh way again, and this time, I generate myself a pair of crooked bat wings. I open my eye and turn to the attendent, who is on the ground.

"Thank you for waking me up." I hit the ground and fly up. It was already dark, and nothing is giving of light, so im in he dark. I let the way over come me again, this time, locating a white blob of hair. I fly faster and drop down next to him. "Hi Allen." Everyone jumped. All the villegers screamed and ran away.

"How did you get here?"  
"...Flew." I mutter and brush my hair. Allen is on the ground and Lavi is laughing. "So... what did I miss?"  
"...Well, there's this vampire-

* * *

Review me! Make My Day! Just, dont bash my S or my G! I know there bad! But... please! Comment or what ever! Please!


	6. When Do I?

Losing A Heart

Chapter 5

If This is a Give Take, When do I get to Take?- Part 2

* * *

"Oh. So its a person with innocence in there teeth?" I ask. The boys nod. I smile. "Well, then why dont you guys reason with him, or what ever...?"

"Well, when your at somebody's neck, thats a little hard to do." Lavi said, twirling a hammer around his fingers. "Saposeing, even if he was willing to talk to us... do you really think a vampire would join the black order?"  
"You guys took me... Didnt you?" Allen and Lavi shrugged.

"...Okay... So whats the plan?" I ask.

"Lavi is going to go in ahead..." Allen said. Lavi chuckled and disappered into the forest in front of us. "So..."  
"IM not giving you a blow-job." I earned a searise of screams and curses. "Im kidding. Your such a kid." I walked closer to him. He grew red. I grasped him and went for his ear, licking the lobe, and quitly, alsmot silently whispering "Neah... Come out." I guess, My Noah was doing that, but Allen jumped back from me. I jumped from him. We both look at each other.

"Why did you just do that?" He asked.

"I dont... know. Shamyer and Neah... uh... they were a thing... And uh... you... uh... um... I dont... know." I finish.

"Who the hell are Shamyer and Neah?" He asked. He didnt know... Neah hadnt tempted him... he was... NO. He hadnt tempted him, yet. Knowing Neah, he was waiting for the perfect moment to attack.

"No one. Never mind." I counter.

"I know your lieing."  
"...I cant tell you yet, I dont want to ruin it for him." Translation... I want you to suffer the way I did. I want you to have your heart torn out by some you love. I want you to understand what you and me are destened for. Reality: Neah, he's yous.

"Him who?"

"Neah."  
"WHO is Neah?"  
"...I cant tell you. Allen, life for both of us... its not going to be easy... But.. NO mater what happans rembere, what im going to tell you right know, alright?"

"...Alright." he nods. A confused look on his face.

"Life is... a game. Played by children. And it has rules. You and me... we are the only ones alloud to brake those rules. Understand?"

"No."  
"...You dont have to... yet. You will eventualy... Though."

"Zai, why does everything you say make no sense?" I smile.

"Its my job." I smile. "Oh, and, Allen, one more thing."  
"What...?"  
"When you and Tyki meet... use a condom."  
"STOP THAT!" He screamed. I started laughing so hard. Allen was fuming near me. I found it more funny.

* * *

Yes. Its short. Kill me. This an experiment, actualy, but... you know. Engoy, anyway.


End file.
